I POST AT LOVETOPOST.FREEFORUMS.ORG

"Bad News, For Mr. Bad Hat...." (working title)

2011-09-14T19:03:00.000-07:00

My very first attempt as a playwright!!! A one-act play in which I Ryan M. Dicks, the director/actor, play all roles involved...do not miss this......

Plot: A very haunting dream-like state based reality.....The gritty aftermath of online politics...

Tagline: When a strange visitor arrives at your door.....will you be there to accept the charges???

FORUMS.HIPINION.COM......WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

2011-09-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

It's absolutely vital we swing the door WIDE open on just EXACTLY what happened on 9/11.....MY 9/11. Several members asked to the details of my banning and were largely ignored in that disgusting 33 page thread of badhat's self-fed delusion and narcissism....victimizing himself, convinced of some kind of twisted idea that members of the forum somehow actually do care about message board moderation and aren't just padding the thread for their own amusement because no one fucking cares and none of this fucking matters.......OK

These are the two exact posts that lead to my removal... --------> CLICK THIS

Directed at *female* member "tricky".....posted in a thread dedicated to her in which we're supposed to "compete for her love"...a piece of fucking wallpaper I've never interacted with. Only notice her for her incessant "hahahas" in every post, and yet I'm supposed to fall in line with the other drooling handicapped fucking horny idiots and kiss her fucking ass and pussy? Did I ever say that though? I've remained very reserved and reluctant in my approach to how I socialized with its members for my one and only week back. Most of my post humor indirect, rated PG, and very funny. If I antagonized you it did not come from a place of hostility but rather irony....in these 2 posts I take a deadpan approach to criticizing tricky for her toilet humor and bring into question her quality of living....even with my own lifestyle well publicized as something of a practical joke. These two posts are meant to be sarcastic, and on-topic as on the first page she asks the "guys" to take the attention off her (even though she LOVES it) and make "fart jokes" instead....

Destructofag, a major player in the east coast frat boy forum illuminati edits the posts to read "I'm awful" and "I'm never posting again", and bans my account. White-knighting tricky as they probably exchanged a fucking PM once and thinks she's his online girlfriend. I email badhat who says he's lifted the ban but there are to be no "personal attacks" and this is the last time he will be "going out on a limb for me"...5 minutes later he replies again to say "actually I just read what you wrote to tricky, go fuck yourself. we're done" and rebans the account. If this isn't the biggest fucking case of reverse-sexism.....what the fuck really is?? Had these posts been directed at any member of the male sex it'd have fucking floated right past him, and at no point was I going to reveal that it was oroku that was her previous roommate. This is some kind of discreet, under the rug smear campaign....pure n simple

And fuck myself, badhat? No...fuck YOU. You're off the deep end drowning in your own double fucking standards and hypocrisy....you have no right to paint me as an "asshole who can't behave" for two singled out posts that were meant purely as comedic. You then ignore me as I send you several subsequent emails throughout the day...scraping my knees on pavement groveling, making good points in each. This should not be what ruined my chances at a new beginning here you hardheaded piece of shit....admit you overreacted. Admit you are fucking wrong

You then make a self-indulgent thread about the fucking banality of forum administration. No one is taking you seriously....we're laughing at you!!!! You turn a thread into 33 pages over demodding some frat jock faggot who only posts in the football thread yet feels within grounds to pull stealth bans on whatever motherfucker he pleases?? For once you did the right thing...and after its all said and done, you reinstate that smug fuckface ingrate just the following day and THEN lock the thread??? You stupid motherfucker. You let the whole non-issue overshadow the REAL one, my fucking BANNING, and you don't even explicitly state what the fuck I did when asked. You're the biggest fucking hypocrite there was. You're an upstanding family man of strong moral fiber with life affirming passions and a reputable resume of professional lines of work, and yet you delude and degrade yourself into believing that administrating a forum that isn't even yours....is of your highest importance. That's fucking sick. I shit on you. UNBAN ME

N NOW.....WITH THE ONLY NEXT LOGICAL STEP I THE ICONIC R.M.D. COULD THINK OF......

THE 8 FOOT MASTER POSTER WITH THE BIG ASS AMERICAN DICK IS BACK.....HIS MAJESTY.....HIS DIAMOND STUDDED SACK PRECEDE HIM.....RYAN MICHAEL BE THY NAME.....KNEEL BEFORE HE.....THE KING IS BACK WITH A PLATINUM GOLD ENCASED DICK AS HEAVY AS THE THRONE....HIS ROYAL CROWN IN HAND......R.M.D..... HTTP://LOVETOPOST.FREEFORUMS.ORG

EDIT;;;;;;;

for anyone that thinks those two cited posts weren't the reasoning for my banning...screengrabbed email from badhat....

EDIT:

I'm reading the ongoing hipinion thread....I'm glad that you like this but I won't be keeping it up so keeping me banned in hopes that I'll continue creating more forum outsider content is not in the works.....I just needed to get the hushed unwarranted ban off my chest....I'm reading what the biggest hater on the board has to say about it, Frank...stating as if it were fact that I wasn't banned for what's specifically written to me personally by badhat but rather, that I'm a threat to your community...will you please shut the fuck up ugly?? I'm not a threat to anyone's privacy on your forum....keeping me banned doesn't keep you any safer. I can still read the members forum. I can still utilize google. I don't have any interest in fucking with your personal lives because I don't care about anyone specifically my enjoyment of the forum is purely watching myself and how I integrate myself into each thread. This is all I was doing and if those that rate this shit up understand this please be more vocal in your support for an unbanning because I didn't do anything I wasn't supposed to...if a big deal was really to be made over those 2 posts badhat could have given me a warning rather than tell me after they were already written that it wasn't allowed and ban me. Knowing she had a roommate who I'm fuckin cool with on the forum is not a violation of her privacy. Fuck you

EDIT;

hey why are you calling me insane I thought we were just having fun online.....my middle name, in fact

EDIT;

I didn't realize posts or videos like this could still be perceived as insane....I used to take specific angles and notes to prior work to try and fuel or bring that into question...this post and the accompanying vid are just meant to be lumped into my pure passion genre....this is pure performance art for the intellectual crowd....you clearly have me confused for some other fuckin psychopath...I just post the best I can and keep faith that the special minority pays close attention to the details...I've left easter eggs all over the internet why are you punishing me for being an artist....I've never so much as even gotten a speeding ticket

dxm nourished tinychat...a robochat retrospective...

2010-05-31T16:27:00.000-07:00

mere days ago my new love interest and i had decided that together her and i would spend a night bonding over a robotrip in which we get high and connect both spiritually and sexually. she mapped it out as it being only my first time..two 4oz bottles she says versus one as she says anything less just wasn't worth the trouble. in this video i document my roboconsumption while live on the phone wit my chick...much less sure of herself when the pressure is on as seen in this vid below..i on the other hand carry enough courage for the both of us..

i'd been in hipinion's tinychat for a couple hours previous to this without her and immediately jumped right in again offering her only my hand and a url to follow..hipinion being an unknown world and community to tesa as we had met online elsewhere to no previous knowledge or backstory to my forum. my dreaded and jaded ex shows up minutes later..leaves and comes back around the time my trip is just kicking in. holy lols who was my main target earlier in the afternoon had claimed to have a dinner reservation an hour or so into my trip but never ends up leaving and is there alongside me after several hours of my face to face owning of him. our first interaction since my bombshell post below. i remember as he says he was leaving becoming genuinely saddened as even when i became too fulkflked up to keep my stream of consciousness going i didn't want to lose his camfeed. i was focused on looking at him almost the entire night. i briefly touch on this experience and recap before i go to bed

i wake up this morning feeling empty..i'm sober now and realize last night will not be topped. if another tinychat hipinion is hosted an attempt at being replicated will possibly be made but most likely just reliving that night live as opposed to any fresh new content. i do another piece on this as i've collected my thoughts this afternoon and come up to about 12 minutes..too large a running time for youtube and host to vimeo as i attempt to walk us through last night and what made it so special to me..

i had forgotten to mention in this above vid that i am very proud of tesa for not taking jen's bait and hook as she's planted so many times previous...jen attempted to ring me through shit in pm's to her throughout the night and tesa brushed her jealousy and spite off with just a fat middle finger to all the haters...the men of hipinion were very receptive to tesa and i received several pm's congratulating me on landing such a cool and beautiful young girl..i like her so much. last night meant everything to me and completely embodied everything that is right and pure about the internet and exactly what drives me to owe my life to this..i will never forget this night. i concluded that i would like to take more drugs and interact via webcam with users in a group setting more often..would be open to offers of mailing me free drugs to fuel more tinychat highs for the future. thank you,,

edit; i've just become aware of an amazing website called "screentoaster" in which you can record what is on your screen including video and audio in realtime. this would have enabled me to record large portions of yesterday saving to a very small size file and perfect for uploading to youtube. i don't know that i'll always care to run one myself so please take the initiative..we've lost so much already. screentoaster.com is the url and simply go to record. make sure "audio" is selected when recording and have it set to "desktop", choose the rectangular option as opposed to the full desktop screen and capture just the tinychat box for reference. when it's good rapidshare to me for uploading..thanks

edit; in recent development i have now overtaken hipinion tinychat under my own name and url...tinychat.com/jerkstore i'll be reg on here a lot..last night i slept on cam

prolly every night i'm gonna do this try and catch me on screengrab sleeping with my eyes wide open while i'm asleep i've been told i do this...every1 join n cam up peace

edit; night 2....

the only screen to surface in which we're actually asleep...i had to convince holy for a half hour last night to take off his shirt and finally come to bed...i then fight holy lols to go to fucking sleep for over an hour as he would not close his eyes ruining it for the rest of us tinysleepers plus not pm my girl and it crashed when i woke up just a few hours later and can't go back to sleep so i'm back on tiny again..excellent night on tinychat

edit; few more

holy and i having one of the most genuine bonding experience of our lives,,,

edit;

attn this morning nature called and proceeded to tug off on tinychat with nate enjoying this..

edit;

little evidence leftover of my 2nd tinychat dxm trip last night (found myself in the "black forest" 2/3 of my way there before turning the light back on in the room to find holy lols online)

wit rare gif of me going to go get water from dxm-dehydration,,

edit;;

apparently crooklyn and jordan find eachother in random tinychats but are always banned for fighting..crooklyn lights up a j and jordan asks crooklyn why he always sees him in his rooms smokin alone and why he aint got no chick to smoke with..they argue til about 6am..crooklyn plays some boogie while he finish his spliff..rezod jumps on his office chair to dance and a wheel pops off falls straight down and makes a loud thud. jordan then convinces him to destroy the chair since it's already broke so rezoid proceeds to throw it around his living room before cutting the upholstery with a knife in my amazement

edit;

http://www.screentoaster.com/watch/stUEhWR0JKRFtYRl1eWlpZU1RV/the_sands_of_time

edit;

6/8/10 first tinychat jambliss sesh

some1 grabbed a small piece of the 35-40 min set

edit; i don't update this for shit anymore but tinychat is still poppin as of 7/6 lots of memories yesterday we did a shirtless session with our local tinychat security guard

hipinion: who's bad enough to link this up

2010-05-09T12:03:00.000-07:00

put a thread..post this vid http://vimeo.com/11598854

^^^everyone please embed this vid in threads where the op asks a stupid ass question,,,,,try to grab 1st reply for maxium effect...~ryan

urgent formspring update

2010-05-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

aight final edit: now officially taking formspring questions to youtube under alternative channel youtube.com/jjerkstore as permanent replacement to the unreliable tokbox. will also use this channel to host online video responses in general including any webcam based video that i decide to record and upload along the way. you will for example see more vids of me eating on this channel as its much easier to just click the webcam icon and i eat in front of the computer anyway as opposed to having to set up a camera for previous food-based efforts. spontaneity and the lack of effort of webcam based vids is sure to make this a unique and exciting alternative channel..please subscribe...

(example)

________

as most of you are aware by now the party has moved from blogspot to formspring..what was originally intended for blogspot commenters to keep in touch as an alternative to comment moderation has blossomed into something unexpected and beautiful..these days it's all about formspring..shit seems like it always popping off on formspring. no questions "offlimits" or "politically incorrect"..on my formspring users ask whatever's on their mind and get the answers they want in their rawest form...got a very strict no pandering/no bullshit approach on this formspring...if you think i'm afraid to "go there" you're on the wrong formspring. i've answered 200+ questions to date so there's a nice amount of informitive reading here if you need catching up..did you ever wish there was a thread for you to bookmark for you to habitually check for updates on the newest things i'm talking about online??? there's now a formspring for this. enjoying formspring's interface as intended but decided to take it to the next level in which i take a written question and respond not in text but in video via "tokbox"..

this is highly inventive as i am officially the first to do this. i briefly played around with this idea through twitter a couple months back but tokbox for formspring seems like the much more appropriate fit. by doing this i have singlehandedly put formspring on the map..to my knowledge formspring did not exist before i opened my own account a few weeks ago. i will continue to answer questions traditionally depending on whether i believe to be able to answer more appropriately or specifically in text depending the question. i have a sense for unconstrained online syntax that needs to be exercised..on the other hand i feel obligation to put myself before the camera to present an answer to a question as if you sat across from me asking me one in real life. i need the practice, socially. grandma's in-house proximity will also factor in over deciding ultimately to respond between text and vid..you are in for some great answers along the way and again that's formspring.me/jerkstore check it out ask some questions and who knows yours could be answered next....~ryan

edit:

and for those of you that don't care to read and watch literally everything i do online my favorite exchange of the day hands down..

re: my formspring wallpaper:

we got some heavy holy baiting in this one as well (also the reply to "what kind of shampoo do you use" for those interested in holy lols????)

loser about to be banned from 2 boards by the time i wake up

2010-04-30T03:45:00.001-07:00

this will only appeal to you if you appreciate a good story about forums and not who its about. a few entries below i've quietly put it down on a fag named tgodd spanning over 150++ comments over the last 7 days. i've known tgodd online for like 7 years..came up together on the old underground hiphop forum that i disassocated from years ago that he continues to frequent. i left to hipinion in 06..he followed me as a fan but only began to post late last year. this concludes our online history..

a few days ago an old vid of mine known best as the "my threads are doing iron man numbers" vid went viral a year after it's original upload to the internet. it apparently generated attention at 4chan, then pulling in a thread at sa/fyad, and soon many places elsewhere. a mere search of "my threads are doing iron man numbers" via google even without the quotes will now yield many results. my original upload was pulled from youtube but a loyal follower dl'd and re-up'd shortly thereafter, only now gaining widespread online attention and treated as a current event. it did about 50k views from the first few days it was picked up. the re-up has now also been pulled, 4chan threads gone..

tgodd informs me of this fyad thread about me and my vid after it had reached about 5 pages in this comment box previously referenced. fyad is a pay only forum where you must purchase an account for 10 dollars to view and/or post. i want to see what online users are saying about me and tell him to screenshot the thread which he does individually, post by post. he spends 50 minutes doing this, not including upload time to megaupload. i clown his fuckin ass to a severe point which derails into a fyad vs hpn faceoff in which he proclaims fyad is the best forum, hipinion is not a good forum, but by the same token believes that he is also well received and respected on the hipinion forum and believes others perceive him to be something of a "best new boarder"..hipinion user traced out reads this comment section apparently takes this personally and carries it to the forum to call for the ban of user "big gay baby"/tgodd as the sa reject that he is. meanwhile the fyad thread now has legs as discussion has veered away from me/my vid to tgodd, username "clean steve" who has been exposed for screenshotting their entire thread, his only defense being that he's "known me for years", following a response by an anonymous user, "and he still made fun of you"..tgodd/clean steve's paid for account is thereby banned. tgodd/"big gay baby" meanwhile at hipinion destined to share a similar fate by the time our admins wake up for work. tgodd will now have been banned by 2 msg boards he cares about..only left to run back to my comment box where it all started (link below)..no where left to go from here on this actual blogspot but to the underground hiphop forum i deemed no longer fit to post on 4 years ago, where this entry will then be linked and thereby putting a fuck on him at every which angle. will most likely clean this entry up tomorrow for archiving purposes..i personally love this post. pre-st vincent/chill wave/ben&jerry/chipotle/bebe zeva shit like this right here was what it was all about..vintage post status. put a screenshot on tonight's cap of the comment box from when he logged in to sulk until he logged off..felt like a victory lap as you can clearly feel my sense of celebration in each reply..good night http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/3977/commentboxarchived.png

edit: woke up,..can the mod who banned big gay baby please clearly state so in a post so i can screenshot it for this entry i got other shit to do

look i feel bad about the bebe post now let's just talk about this vid

2010-04-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

this may be just the result of my peaking xTc comedown (clonzapam) from earlier but i feel bad for this bebe post so soon to her 17th birthday..i don't know about you but that's a pretty crummy birthday present. my personal apologies to bebe you are a good girl and thank you for this new pic of your exposed cleavage which may just be my X induced imagination but feels to be directly in response to my entry about not showing enough of your privates in your pics. this seems to be a conscious decision to veer into a different direction from less food pics to more exposed flesh..i knew you understood...

bebe zeva: "ure f*cking out.."

2010-04-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago..

and today..

as you can see from these screenshots i am now on the fringe of rubbing shoulders and private parts with one of our biggest online-based teenage sex icons of the last decade...zoe kimball is what bebe zeva aspires to be but will never reach..zoe having already reached true meme status by bebe's age..her 15 min flame flickering but never forgotten. she's taken good care of her body and gained my sole admiration because of this. bebe is a 16 year old jewish loser with an overprotective zionist mother who doesn't believe in our lord and savior "jesus christ" with nothing better to do than sit on the internet all day making tweets and doing nothing with their lives. bebe, scene hanger-on and a homeschooled cunt. the zevas sit around jerking off eachother's false egos all day until it's time to go to bed..they wake up and do this again. elizabeth zeva has no husband, bebe no father...she coasts on a pretty face and hair and long legs, yet we as an audience have grown tired of her lack to take her selfexploitation one step further. bare cleavage, upward angled crotch shots in short shorts, see through pants or pajamas with visible underwear/thongs etc. her mother will not allow her to show her body in a bathing suit. she will never be as sexually liberated as a zoe kimball for example. bebe is a prude young jewish girl living in the sex capital of the world..vegas brand sexual promiscuity passing her by. she hasn't the foresight to see what her body will look like in only a few years time through the lens of her fatter, older sister's eyes..rachel. not taking advantage of her last fleeting moments as sexually valued teenage slut...furthermore, she eats like a fucking pig...

75% of her pictures involve fast food consumption/fetishism. her best/most amusing tweets involve snarky selfdepreciating zingers about her favorite candies..bebe is a selfproclaimed virgin. show me a guy that respects this and i'll show you a guy that never got any pussy to save his life. 5 years from now the only thing bebe zeva will be remembered as was the dumb clueless jewish bitch ryan dicks made 2 youtube rap tribute vids to about the kinky things he wanted to do to her asshole. leaving no legacy behind of her own other than a vacant twitter account. she is validated only by teenage boy nobodies who couldn't see some pussy if it jumped on they lap..bebe could only be so lucky to see the time of day from a hot stud such as myself. zoe is 19 and knows how to fuck and makes no apologies for this..

i love this pic because i imagine i'm getting a close up to zoe thru a telescope from a distant beach house atop a sea cliff..safe to voyeur, free of your society's judging eyes. light one up for zoe tonight..~ryan

edit: ATTN bebe saw this sh*t and thought of you..act quick

i made a formspring.me for commenters

2010-04-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

edit: in this entry i turned on "comment moderation" as a social experiement but turned it off and now we just went back to commenting regular again but i'm still gonna keep the formspring formspring.me/jerkstore

someone bump the "twin peaks 20th anniversary" thread

2010-04-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

please embed it wit this

can someone link this in the jbrooks chill wave thread

2010-03-29T19:01:00.000-07:00

edit:

also it's gone 8 pages without my previous 2 being linked so please just post all of them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrS4etrxb7s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIdQ4mhyDz0

edit: nvm http://altreport.hipsterrunoff.com/2010/03/some-bro-does-a-chillwave-cover-in-his-underwear.html

re: edit:

glad this has been noted..i've been disturbed that jbrooks/hpn believes they've somehow invented the lampooning of chill wave music..noting the sub-subgenre's vulnerability yet still sev months late to the beach party..discrediting those that hit the coast 1st..meanwhile i'm not even allowed to make some posts there..fuck urselves..

"cake parties" you have been exposed in this entry

2010-03-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

many of you have asked where i have been in the last couple weeks. that is not any of your business why do you ask me that. why don't you leave me alone??? aight..

i had spoke briefly with melissa the other night as there was a small get together being hosted. i unfortunately could not attend but asked who was there despite knowing nobody personally as an attempt to make conversation. my dude kenneth is there. nice. his dude, justin. a few other peeps. this chick liz. word is my chick liz gives it up for less. it is not unlike her for her to express herself sexually. melissa had told me her and justin ended up leaving together..i smiled. i have never spoken with justin. i've watched him over the months quietly subscribe to my social networking accounts..friend request me on facebook..shit like that. i feel glad he made a friend

hmmm..the next morning i wake up to find a thread by "cake parties", little known to our forum, much like bedroomer, but one of kenneth's better friends IRL as previously mentioned. also note that kenneth has not made a post since my post below this one. this is good. apparently justin has gotten laid by the very same chick he went home with, as reported by melissa to me personally..small world. a member asks "how", he links to an "ask macseries" thread in which he asks for advice on how to get his dick wet on tuesday night

i have missed this post on the day of and only make the connection after it was already too late to help my friend liz throw her life away

he posts a pic of this chick in this post but has since edited it for reasons explained later in this entry. i had not the foresight to save it in its original form as i did not know this would become a post but had just general unarchived internet harassment in mind

he comes back to the "ask macseries" thread the day after just in case anyone missed his own thread to let everyone know this

meanwhile a good woman is being exploited on the internet..it is my duty to step in and make this right

hmmm..

*headshot*

cake parties i feel embarrassed for you and you have just brought kenneth further shame by association. much like your friend i hope you quit making posts because melissa told me about how everyone believes you are a virgin and this confirms it and i hope you never have sex and want you to kill yourself. if you need tips on how to fuck like a real man you talk to me about it but you keep a woman's good upstanding reputation out of it or i'm gonna come over there to where you live and beat your ass. i don't got nothing else to say about that..i'm out..

edit: meanwhile..

opposing sides weigh in..

i feel resentment for this comment..it must have been none other than justin personally who fabricated this blatant rumor in the first place. justin will you fuck off you've only dug yourself deeper..we think you're a jerk dude welcome to the real world where actions have consequences...

members and lurkers of hipinion alike...simply a must read

2010-02-26T16:13:00.000-08:00

hot post coming through..

this morning i lay freshly woken off grandma's couch..my eyes glazed..my head swimming. i log online to compile a post. fell gracefully asleep last night just fresh on my come down from an internet high. late january i get a message from a young girl via facebook while still in canada asking when i'd be doing videos again. i'd been on an online hiatus for about 2 months due to being on restriction at my gf's..told her i was going home in a week to pick up where i left off..thanked her for the support. came home..dropped my first post back..w/ a 3 part monologue. i get another message from her shortly thereafter..."sorry to bug you again", the title read. she says she wants to thank me again for "making her and her friends lol"..i read this and feel good. i do not respond. a couple weeks pass..my youtube account is suspended for reposting the video in which i tug off to a looped vid of st vincent's face saying "i love you" until i cum. i create my new account...

melissa is among one of my first subscribers to my new backup account. note also, that she has only subscribed to me. i faintly recognize the face in the user icon from the face from facebook. i go back to the message from weeks ago to confirm this. upon checking her facebook profile can't help but curiously click on her "relationship status" link..in her boyfriend's facebook profile is a website url by the name of familar but little known hipinion user, "bedroomer"...bedroomer being only known as sexy former hipinion user's ex-boyfriend, ashi. ashi was in fact indirectly responsible for my first hipinion undisputed classic vid..a post written 3 years ago by my friend ipmw with the header "ASHI WE CAN START FUCCIN NOW"...i grab first reply. i respond, "cofuckin signed 8)"..my girlfriend shortly reads this..calls me and screams at me that i delete this post..adding to this that she wants to burn her face as i decline to. i record her reaction while zooming in and out of avatars...thread goes viral. 5 bloody stars...

ashi quietly quits the forum..her and bedroomer apparently break up shortly thereafter..according to melissa's facebook relationship status, their one year anniversery being 11/12/08. i am also learning that this couple lives only a little over an hour drive from where i live, in fremont, at grandma's. my girlfriend having broken up with me shortly after my arrival home as she ultimately does not appreciate my motives to blog/youtube..felt within reason to be somewhat flirtatious, and even playful. after confirming her youtube channel to be her, ashi backstory, and bedroomer relationship i write

in jest, i ask her where she works and that i'd maybe come in to steal something. she says

this feels real to me..she has now given the possibility not only of having me visit her at work for a free meal but the idea of her driving to come see me. melissa seems like a very nice girl and very quickly does this possibility turn into a real life scheduled plan. she decides that she will come drive to me and take me out to dinner as i have told her that it is very hard to have my mom to allow me to borrow her car lately..throughout this her boyfriend, bedroomer knows nothing of this. she tells me that she "loves secretly messaging me" but does feel bad she has to keep it from him. she tells me things about bedroomer..his jealousy..his control..his rage. she insists that bedroomer would see me as a threat and not allow this if he were to find out..i laugh at the idea that i am a threat to any man's chick. told me the kinda shit he put her through cuz she kissed a couple girls at a bar once..doesn't want her hanging out even w/ her female friends. this guy sounds like an insecure nightmare IMO..i start to feel less bad that i am allowing another man's chick to engage w/ me. sounds to me like this man don't deserve a chick like melissa. told me that she's tried to have "a break" with him before but he would not grant it. meanwhile this guy apparently keeps a steady contact with his ex girl...ashi. fukin hypocrite..

our messages get a lil sexually inappropriate..she tells me that she's had a dream about me, and that it was "pretty damn sexy"..or after i excuse myself from the computer to go take a shower, to which she replies..

we begin to discuss where we'll eat..what we'll do. i ask that she decide everything as i feel continually flattered by this girl and feel not worth her time especially at the length of distance between us. tells me of another japanese restaurant opened by a former chef at her restaurant somewhat near me that we could go to, and tries to clear my doubts of inadequacy by telling me i'm doing HER a favor by going out with her because her boyfriend doesn't like seafood and she'll never end up going otherwise. at this point i notice facebook's picture icon above the message box which prompts the webcam on. i impulsively decide that i will write that i like seafood on a notepad and send her this pic..

she says to me,

also previously, before i had to excuse myself to play video games, signing my message "*hugs n kisses* ~ryan", said

which i just thought was nice and wanted to include this..we schedule our meetup for next week..we continue to make smalltalk. she tells me that bedroomer said to her nights ago.."tell me a secret" to which she replies that her and i are secretly friends..he retorts, "you wish"...ha ha. ok. let's fast forward..

damn..c*ckblocked????? i tell her to sort her shit out w/ her man..she tells me that even if he attempts to keep her from talking to me she can do whatever she wants but will have to reschedule our dinner date as he is making her hang out with him the night of. later that night..bedroomer speaks, angerly...

this is my first ever interaction w/ bedroomer. i don't believe we've ever even directly responded to one another in a thread. his lack of picture/name attached indicates that he has blocked me after my last reply

look at this lil guy..lil fuccin frodo baggins over here. i peeped a couple pics of the happy couple together..melissa is tiny..bedroomer stands only a solid inch taller. my dude needs to be less concerned w/ his girl and more concerned w/ finding the rings..lord of the rings, because that's what you look like. his initial threat was obviously not moving to me..i have never been in a fight but in the couple psychotic episodes i've had am confident that i would fucking kill him in blind anger if he hurt me because i don't like to feel physical pain or be degraded. i'd obvs hulk out on this dude no question..would love to just grab him by the top of his head and hold him up a foot off the ground so he could get on my level..grab him by his bird chest one handed and 1080 spin him above my head into a piece of their furniture. as you have read i did not appreciate the overt passiveaggressive tone carried throughout our correspondence. he seems to feel like the bigger man because he believes he has the right to ownership of another human being..

peeping out his myspace i couldn't help but feel tickled by this delicious irony...a picture at least 1 year old..

foreshadowing 101...there is pain in this pic..i feel sorrow in this caption..

melissa i realize this will not get us any closer to that meetup but i don't need this dude's drama in my life..melissa when you read this i feel sorry for exploiting your good intent in this post and would have kept this to myself had bedroomer not approached me in this fashion. your surname has been smudged for the protection of your privacy in which i value. you are a nice girl and you deserve better than either bedroomer or myself can provide you..i hope that one day we can still meet up for that meal and conversation..thank you for making me feel good and sorry that your boyfriend is a loser. bedroomer i no longer have anything to say to you..i no longer want you as a subscriber and please delete my blog and youtube channel from your favorites..out....

finally a place where i belong..

2010-02-24T21:19:00.000-08:00

kingdavid is feeling this..tongue twista shows love by flashing his icey wrist..deez feels upset throughout..jae smokes a cigarette. i am enjoying my integration into the black twitter community...

edit: just now learning "tonguetwista334" is in actuality marlon wayans of whom i had an altercation w/ just 3 nights ago..

a bebe

2010-02-22T20:43:00.000-08:00

following about 80 black people on twitter now reading and absorbing everything they say and feel i had felt inspired..i had noticed that the black people never seem to fall in love, but are a very passionate people regardless..just my observation...i believe that it is important to have a passion. i believe that it is healthy to yearn. keeping our sexual deviance/predatory dominance on wax keeps young impressionable MC's off the streets so this is good..bebe if you are feeling me too hit me up because i am usually online

my friend sent me this

2010-02-20T21:07:00.000-08:00

hipinion's "jerkstore" thread deleted

2010-02-15T14:18:00.000-08:00

got this in my youtube inbox this morning..

badhat please understand that i never asked "lostintheair" to promote every vid or blog i do..though it was always appreciated. you didn't have to delete the fucking thread..sometimes it seemed nice to have an actively maintained go-to thread for a general commentary and consensus on my life from the forum i always cared about most..please remember what this blog was originally intended for. it was 8 pages and had like 9 thousand views..I.M.N...you act as if he was the only one to post in it. after the last board crash with the loss of the previous "jerkstore" mk1 thread..all my posts..this thread was the last of my presence on the forum. with this thread i was integrated into the community despite not having my own account. you are rewriting our history and stripping me naked of what little dignity i had and you are a fucking loser. you are not my friend. you are a shitty stepdad and you are ugly. your wife is probably ugly, too. you are old. you are painfully dull and i want to find your facebook so i can harrass you in real life and fuck with your life. i wish you were dead and i want you to kill yourself..

deleting the jerkstore thread only leaves the hipinion jerkstore search with 110 results. what the fuck is this shit??? even the google cache is wiped..this is like the only thing i can find left of my existence http://74.125.155.132/search?q=cache:r4NtnlHw_f4J:forums.hipinion.com/viewtopic.php%3Fp%3D5559756%26sid%3D968a0a524e38a19db34f115f7171ba55+hipinion+jerkstore+jiffy&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us

shout out to fuckjackal..haven't seen you in a minute..

update:

i think you're proving yourself to be the dipshit in which you speak..

are you fucking stupid?????

sorry fritz to blow up ur spot but what the fuck am i gonna do i'm sitting here watching this post go down in realtime i'm fucking mad as hell right now..

sexy zebra st vincent

2010-02-14T13:03:00.001-08:00

this vid is probs not worth a blogger entry but i have more followers on here than my temp youtube act until my main act suspension is lifted so it is being advertised here...enjoy the 720p..

new conceptual vid..topical in its nature..

2010-02-10T16:04:00.000-08:00

i feel like victoria leghorn of pre-chillwave/prewave entity "beach house" wrote this as narrative to annie and i personally..feels blissed out yet mad relevant upon the reflection of my life...resumed the role of a "teen dream" in the process. sometimes it is nice to be alive...

i let the internet down last night...i let myself down last night

2010-02-09T11:06:00.000-08:00

shock

anger

sorrow

reproach

last night's timeline in order of both location and feelings. this may be the last 35 min you hear from me for a while...i won't forgive myself and i am truly sorry. you cheered me on and you put your faith in my passion. please forgive but do not forget...i will make this right some day. this story was meant to have a happy ending

edit: i put a link in the comments but shout out to youtube.com/milkcowmani who currently has 7 vids from last night's show...upskirt on every vid. tight ass fuckin angle bro..tug bank status...*saved..

putting annie on blast right now...twitter.com/ryand1cks

the last 4 tweets are all to this vid

re:edit: blocked. been a while..glad to finally get some sort of emotion out of her...actually relieved. gone back to ryan_dicks4

flagged vid re-up

2010-01-28T20:53:00.000-08:00

alright yo.."i love you.....i love you..." re-up...turn the heat up for this one. back this shit up to 720p and start uploading it to all your accounts that way when ms jealous bitch flags down this one we got backups for days..sendin this shit to st vincent all day..let's put this shit on dark knight status...

please remember that ms jealous bitch does not actually sleep so she'll be on patrol...i keep tabs on her online even when i sleep and she hasn't been getting to bed since i been gone..probably missin this dick. challenge your mind and put this sh*t on autoloop while you rub one to bebe...free vid idea right there. good luck..have fun...

breaking bebe...

2010-01-28T15:22:00.000-08:00

i'm really feeling bebe zeva at the moment. got horny as hell after writing her back and thought to myself if there were two chicks i could have at my sexual disposal right now it'd have to be st v and bebe. annie to make love to..bebe just to get a rock off. peep out those youtubes if you haven't already...sh*t let's all subscribe. demand more...tell her big j sent you. haven't lurked out a average girl since my myspace days in my closing teen years..before i got standards. it's been a while since i could think of a girl who's hair i wanted to pull more while hittin doggy..gettin my lil dick wet. bebe is also far more tangible than that of st vincent...believe i've finally found my true back up/last resort. she seems to believe that because she's sexy as hell but can also write legible english this makes her some kind of an online-based figure..someone to pay attention to. i'd rather she stick to what she's naturally good at..a tug bank..and less snarky tweets. save the "random/sarcastic" shit for the bedroom where you will need a sense of humor. just hope bebe is not disappointed that she's getting attention in the form of a blog and not a vid..bebe needs to understand she is not on my wavelength and is lucky to get even just a post at this point. grow beautifully into a young woman, gifted in musical ability with the sexiest face i ever seen and you may see some st vincent-level loyalty out of me..just my opinion..

also rarely in my youtube message center i had noticed a vid response back from sep 09 to my old nabisco vid that i never saw..clicked that which was good and i found this vid which i actually knew about but just forgot..

one of my several pulled youtube vids moved to an alternate channel by a loyal fan..i'd like to see this become more of an ongoing trend. youtube does some bullshit where they can sense a flagged vid even if you rename it/put it on a diff account so when this first happened i just gave up on youtube and put them to vimeo. then she reported them and got the whole vimeo account removed. i'm thinking if i maybe reencode them and put them on a new account that'll work...but then i want others to download those vids and put the same vids on random accounts..droppin lil jerkstore easter eggs up and around youtube. all the ones that got pulled. back before i'd learned to develop feelings. for those that weren't pussies these joints were considered once to be artful. it's not a path i plan to revisit so it is best that the originals remain. also want my most recent st v back on for example (who my ex also reported to vimeo and just had taken down). what you think???

put up those new vids..

2010-01-27T17:09:00.000-08:00

some nice ongoing dialogue in this thread here...cool. http://forums.hipinion.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1084&start=90

i was gonna screenshot all the comments she left st v but checking just now i see she's removed them all...st vincent just put up a new pic on her twitter at least...

i'm just going to be a supportive fan bro..i don't want to call too much attention to myself..you know that's not my style. i just hope people will make way and reserve a spot front and center for a real fan...i don't plan to be extra early. not stoked on the opener. i really just want a warm hug after the show

what the fuck dude..we used to be mad cool. i put your stupid ass streak of bad threads on blast on this blog like 5 months ago but it was meant to encourage you. told my dude fritz "i'd about had it" with your posts these days anyway..didn't appreciate your attempt to make the crossover. either way you need to suck this dick...

nice topic..let me weigh in on this..

2010-01-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

funny you should ask this..was just recalling this earlier today for the first time in years. didn't start jerking off til i was 14...used to just look at porn with a major hard dick and sit there and not do jack shit about it..wasn't til one day after freshman year i came home..checked out a few streaming vids before everyone else got home and finally had the inclination to give it a lil tug..blasted my boxers out in about 25 secs flat. called my homeboy to give him the good news. turns out, he been doin this shit like 2 years before me...damn haha. anyways

was only about a year after this that i was getting bored of the ol hand around my dick routine...was looking to switch my game up. folded up my goosedown pillow a couple times..went to town. felt good. not sure where i read this but i was intrigued when looking for new methods and came upon an alternative use to a cucumber. if you cut off the top end, hollow it out with a spoon/knife, lube it up and microwave it..you can have some sex with it. did this several times. even came in the same one i fucked for later. kept it in the fridge. try this out you will love it

would do a tutorial vid (still might do a tutorial vid) but since my ex started 2uping my vids to my mom and because mom does my grocery shopping i don't want her to know that's what i'm going to do with it. not that i was going to do it it's just for educational purposes. being uncircumcised with very tight foreskin allows me great pleasure of tugging one off dry. the feeling of the foreskin rubbing neck and neck with the head of my penis feels nice. i focus mainly on the stimulation of the head and don't often go down the shaft..no point. when uncut your head is the pleasure spot. most of you lost this before you ever got the chance to appreciate it...that sucks. definitely tugged dry to st vincent yesterday. but if you want the replication of a real live pussy look no further than a fat ass hollowed out cucumber. peace...

yea..that's true. i've seen a lot of dicks in my time and would have to confirm this sentiment. irony is, i can JO as dry as i want it but when it comes to sex with an actual woman i have to spit a fat wad of spit and massage it into the top half of my dick before i'm able to insert. otherwise my foreskin slides back half way on one side and i feel pain. same thing goes for anal...though it takes the perfect angled insertion. i would either start at that bone like two inch above the butthole and push down or at the pussy lips and move up. the trick is to go in partially bent to protect your fragile foreskin and head so it straightens up once it actually hits the opening. a little advice to those just getting they dick wet..signing out..

edit: last time i waste my top page on a flopped thread. anyone with an account that is reading please tell the author this so he feels bad about himself. stop wasting our time..

aite..st vincent update....

2010-01-25T20:29:00.000-08:00

a few days before i left to canada i made my last st vincent related youtube, "marry me" which i believe was genuinely of sweet and beautiful intent...this had come after st vincent had blocked 3 of my twitter accounts in the span of about a week, during the "you are creeping her out" phase told to me personally by close and mutual friend, edward droste. after i linked her this vid she stopped blocking me in which i became thankful..i owed it to the vid. when i left i told her i wouldn't be able to twitter her anymore but i'm back now so i am allowed again. i have high hopes when i see her next month. exactly "2 weeks" away...i'd die of embarrassment if she does not allow me to hug her, i think...this is my last.fm

69's like the sexual position...i did this on purpose. this is raunchy humor that's what makes it funny. i'm up to 120K+ but should be higher. gonna get it up to a milli before '11...my first true achievement. i strive for her approval

became the undisputed st vincent top listener on last.fm in the process...iron man..

ha ha. cool

wiki notoriety...that's good

now this is my fav pic of annie because the expression on her face and position her little body is in could just as easily pass as a pic of her squatting down on a dick...that's what's up. her left hand (not pictured) i can imagine just as easily jerking off an additional dick which is quite common in sexually liberated young women..i have seen firsthand that this behavior will typically evolve into the act where the woman will ride one man in general "cowboy" position in her pussy while the 2nd man will pause the act briefly to enter the woman from her butthole from behind as the woman will continue to bounce steadily on the sitting dick while the dick from behind will maintain a rhythmic manual motion of pushing in and pulling out. i undermine st vincent's androgynous musical abilty in favor of my overwhelming primal sexual desire for st vincent's body and face...she becomes in my eyes first and foremost a "fuck object" than "talented musician"...man's ideal perception of womanhood in its rawest form. nice pic...

edit: youtube took it down. i will continue to reason w/ them through email to put it back up but i put it on vimeo now

edit: mom weighs in on latest vid...

re: edit: was mad that my ex sent the 3 parter vid i uploaded a couple days before this one to mom as i talk about my dick and asshole infatuation. was going to message the 2006 affidavit where she allegedly licked her son's asshole that ultimately lead to her losing custody of her son to present day to the pastor she works for as she ironically works for a "youth outreach center" now. she's been emailing her everything i do since i been back and felt scared but a sense of relief that she knows what i love to do online but felt shame from a son's perspective...

LMAO....FOR POSTERITY....

2010-01-25T20:19:00.001-08:00

damn...

exploited 18 y/o teen reference from yesterday's post...update..

2010-01-23T11:00:00.001-08:00

yesterday..."i don't really have any moral objection to "railing out" a teen..we're both models so that's ok. what is she like 15. i don't really know. i'm still pretty young i guess. did an 18 y/o last year. maybe more on that later."

later on..

seems everyone is a critic....

2010..damn...haven't been on in a min...gonna do a blog

2010-01-22T10:34:00.000-08:00

looks like i'm officially back online...my first post since. did a 2 month+ bid in canada. those that follow me closely may have seen two accompanying youtube vids at the time when i first left. one of my arrival to my girlfriend's apt in real-time, the second being a brief explanation of my then undetermined online hiatus and brief goodbye. it was not my intent for anyone to believe that i just up and disappeared like some kinda pussy...that's my life you're fuckin w/, plus i don't play games. both vids were shortly shelved at the demand of my gf. neither very good but served their purpose for the time they were allowed up..

while away from home my online presence was to remain unavailable and distant. any kind of online interaction/stimulation was to be discouraged and an immediate psychotic trigger for my gf. stayed on lurk. had my ass fucking kicked several times regardless...that's how it goes. no vids made this time. was not allowed to record. a much different energy from my previous visits. looks like this is the end. i am feeling sad for my loss..i am feeling optimism in my return home. i did some crying. yea, i'll do some more. so what??? she was especially emotional and manic in my last few days there, almost made me secondguess my common sense and fall back into old patterns. have to be strong. this is for the best. i will talk more about this another time. i just been reflecting on my life i guess..got a lot of shit on my mind. how the same things that bring such joy can cause such great pain..philosophical as hell..life's great mysteries. i guess god got a plan for everyone...

on the airplane after sitting uncomfortably in the middle of a man and woman for over 3 hours i finally muster up the courage to ask her if i can get up..took a nice long piss in the lavatory sink as to not touch the toilet. checked my reflection in the mirror...nice. the bathroom is right at the end of the airplane where the attendants prepare our prepacked snacks and drinks. i decided to just hang out, stretch my legs..cop a feel on the atmosphere. i stood there in the same spot for about 20 minutes staring at the floor, which i believe disturbed the flight attendant eating her lunch across from me. saw about 20 people come and go to use the bathroom. several had asked me if i was also waiting, my reply generally being "no i'm standing" before looking back down, squeamishly. a line starts to form. it's up to about 3 now. a small foreign woman manages to cut before a man and woman. i can't help but notice this woman's phoenix twang, as the plane was destined for there. she certainly dressed like she was from phoenix, from my perception of what phoenix is like. from phoenix this plane travels to ontario, CA, and then to SFO, where i get off. the foreign woman is in the bathroom now, audibly vomiting. i humorously say to the woman "well, that's my cue" before i begin to walk back to my seat. she is laughing now, i walk on. i am chuckling, too. i turn around to give her the courteous head-turn and smile to acknowledge that she is laughing at the joke i told. a warm feeling. the man and woman who i sat between are now enjoying great conversation in the 25 minutes i was gone after we all had sat in silence for hours prior...i felt bad to break this up. they continued to flirt with one another as i sit between them until they had no more things to talk about and go back to staring forward. i pretend to go to sleep again as to avoid any potential eye contact. i really just wanted to look out the window. there were no tv's on this flight. i wrote southwest an email about that. on my flight 2 months ago i brought my st vincent "actor" lp cover with me on the plane. people looked at it and me very strangely as i walk through the airport. i did a video of it with my camera hanging off my neck but it didn't catch any of the reactions. i felt brave enough before leaving to make a video where i talked even in front of people but was not able. the only positive feedback i got being when a man saw it tucked under my arm walks up to me while waiting to board and says, "great record"...that's a stupid ass thing to say to someone. who just walks up and says some shit like that..i just said "i know." i didn't have the room to carry it with me on the return flight. it got bent to shit in my roller luggage. i just had to laugh right now thinking about if the xray scanners can see inside and see her big ass face on that piece of cardboard..and they be thinking like "the fuck?? what's that shit..my dude must be crazy...", ha ha. that's funny as hell IMO

i had only two exchanges with the outside world while on hiatus. both via email, lengthy but discreet. fritz, of hipinion.com. carles of hipsterrunoff. fritz had wanted to help get me back on the forum to post freely after the crash. new board, fresh start. in my lurking, i had noticed the new board was up upon entering its familar url after being down for what felt like a long time. i registered. it was the 14th of december..i rememeber this vividly. badhat had apparently combed through the member list in the first few days while still reasonably small and intimate. he put a ban on my sn almost instantly...i did not attempt to post and was only planning to hold it until i went home to california, free to post without risking a beating. fritz being a bigtime jerkstore apologist and fulltime fan wanted to help get me back in the good graces of the lesser favorable admin, both of us clearly preferring erik. fritz has been hot for a min now..it wasn't hard to tell badhat hung on his every word. his posts feel sincere like mine felt when i had made them, i felt. the repect was mutual. i could understand why we would gravitate to one another..

we talked like old friends catching up might, ghostwrote him a couple pm's to send to badhat to work in my favor as i didn't want to make this groveling public, not for my own sense of shame but in the case that my then girlfriend were to do a jerkstore search and read that i'd been in talks with anyone of the internet, which was in fact forbidden. fritz carried out his orders but badhat rejected the idea at least initially that i should be within reason to make posts. said he "would not lift a finger to help me" which was ironic in that he was actively patrolling for me and even put a ban on the ip i was reading from. he had already lifted several fingers..that much was evident. fritz was not as persistent as was needed. seems he wanted to remain in neutral ground with badhat as to not lose his high regard, leaving my situation unresolved in the process...the true attributes of a flake. badhat is a known pushover. fritz couldn't rock the boat..i smelled pussy and had questioned his loyalty immediately. it's not often i come across people online this selfish, especially those that masquerade as a "friend"..his loss. i'd accepted this temporary defeat and would handle this when i got back home myself, NBD..though he also failed to carry this last thing i asked of him, a little elaborate joke paid for at the expense of the forum..

i didn't maxamize his full responses because nobody cares about that. this forum is in a state of shit let's not kid ourselves...open reg fucked our shit up. badhat streamlined the userlist barring highly valued HOF'ers such as renna and myself but have allowed at least 20 different new users who are day-to-day active soil our board with stupid ass opinions and topics that are gay as fuck...they don't belong here. eugenics and his fucking dumb friends spamming our leak thread with the "pm" running joke to new and gullible users in pursuit of their most anticipated leaks, ripping me off from the days where anyone who wanted an invite to what/waffles/kg/googlewave/etc i would tell to pm me, though being widely known and accepted that i never had any invites to give in the first place. i invented that brand of humor. i didn't see anyone laughing then..

this is the only screenshot i have of this, almost 2 years ago. i did this daily. up until the day i made my last post before my last banning 3 months ago. every invite to every private tracker i'm on has been through baiting legitimate members of these sites to send me an invite in exchange for invites i didn't have...the perfect misdirection. also holy lols has been allowed to post. i'm out...

now carles had wrote me just before i left..wanted me to model his upcoming tshirt campaign, to which i said "yes." carles had emailed me shortly after my second HRO writeup, in which my vids "sexy pony st vincent" and "ride the chill wave (one more time...)" were featured. i had told him that i was leaving for canada but i could still do it from there though reasonably disappointed as i was that his tshirt would not be featured within the four white walls of my grandma's bedroom. this is problematic in that taking me out of my room creates something of an "unauthentic experience", seeing me anywhere but seems taken out of context and ultimately leads to confusion. once complete, he mailed them off either way. two "genre" shirts. one navy blue, one white. size "medium"...

we spoke briefly every other day or so. sometimes about life, other times about the pending arrival of these tshirts. carles grew impatient that they had not arrived. told me he had to "launch" regardless as to create "hype" around his "tees" in time for "christmas delivery", yea ok. the next day on his website i see a big ass pic of that girl that you always see in the sidebar..goes by "bebe", advertising the new "genre" tshirt. inside this large picture is a hyperlink to an online store where you can buy one along with two others, "thank yall" and "tao lin." i felt great anxiety. i not only needed these shirts to arrive ASAP but that i would be premiering late following bebe rather than in unison, or "first", as rightfully deserved. got conan'd. bebe was not shit in my opinion..

these shirts arrive about a week later. i now have the obstacle of creating a shoot that is high concept but also within the limited amount of private time i have where my then girlfriend leaves me in her apartment alone as this would create severe friction between us. i thought, "what if i just stood there with this tshirt on with a bunch of mascara on to cover up my teenage complexion touched up with ample flash/contast looking like a fucking bitch.." but had remembered bebe had already perfected this. i thought about my latest st vincent arc that i left openended before my departure and conceptualized a suitable shot in about 10 min, taken on the same day the shirts were received...

well, this was it. the execution could have been better..lighting was off, hair looks gay as hell but felt that i had successfully incorporated my own brand unto his with little sacrifice from an artistic standpoint, while also finding that small section of her kitchen to replicate the "bleak minimalism" of my own bedroom, thereby making this a timeless piece and remaining true to self. no corporate shilling in the slightest. my sleeves rolled up for comedic effect...you can tell i work out. the other tshirt draped over the chair at my side with the st vincent "actor" lp sitting atop represents st vincent sitting beside me, likeminded in our choice for loud and street savvy fashion...in the second pic i attempt to mirror her expression which i capture perfectly, to the point that it's hard to tell what really came first, i thought. done..emailed..

no response. days feel like centuries for each day that passes. i never asked to be in this business..only replied back to a week later after "xmas break" after i had written him a strongly worded email of restlessness and rejection. his only real explanation to "ducking me" being that he was "scared" of the "st vincent meme", which i took as his opinion that st vincent "conflicts with his own brand and readership" in which i took "personally."

"that's rich.." i thought, i had felt the same way in that of st vincent's/my own brand by comparison to his..st vincent and i are far too high up on the "concept" scale to ever pander to the fifteen year olds that these shirts are being sold to. st vincent and i wouldn't wipe my ass or her pussy with these "genre" shirts if you paid us to. our "genre" cannot be classified in the form of a tshirt, something carles failed to realize prior to its creation. last time i checked, st vincent had 310K+ followers on twitter....by my math that's 310 thousand+ tshirt sales you just missed out on. not to mention my 150+ youtube subscribers. our sh*t does iron man numbers on the daily..like i feel like i'm j hova, st v is puffy in that we'e not unlike professional black businessmen of our niche internet market..we singlehandedly changed the game, we shut shit down..it is what it is. carles clearly were not built for this. just my observation...

if you are interested in the purchase of a medium "american apparel" pressed "genre" shirt in white or navy blue please contact me for pricing. glad to smear a bodily function of your choice on either. support local/independent artists...C.R.E.A.M...

carles and i however remain cool. not looking to divide our viewership into "teams" over a misunderstanding such as a "ryan dicks is to conan as carles is to leno" scenario which is my take at topical humor. that shit would go viral fast as hell probably..i have too much friends and family to spend any time worrying about that. the recent tragedy in haiti really put life into perspective IMO..i can't speak for carles personally. i will work together more closely with carles for the next one as to reach a mutual satisfaction between us without compromising either's artistic merit or vision. probably gonna fly out to wherever bebe lives for a collaborative joint..i don't really have any moral objection to "railing out" a teen..we're both models so that's ok. what is she like 15. i don't really know. i'm still pretty young i guess. did an 18 y/o last year. maybe more on that later. i am glad to be back to express myself online. glad to be back home and not depend on others to speak on my behalf. the freedom of speech is a powerful thing..i think rosa parks was mad influental in this respect. doing what you want because that's how you feel is what it's all about. glad to be back home free and ready to twitter st vincent on the reg who i have not written to since i left to tell her i wasn't allowed anymore. can't wait for her feb 8 show in sf but i may be homeless. grandma moved all my shit stacked against one wall..my room is being used as a family guest room now while i set up my laptop in the corner of the living room, sleeping on the couch. there's a couple shitkids running around right now in fact. i am being driven out. i wish i had the privacy to put a youtube. had all these planned room renovations and it's all just gone to shit. even ordered a ps3. i don't have anywhere to put it now. i started crying...i wish you saw that shit. hope avatar is still in theaters..did not go outside in the entire 2+ months i was gone, showered only twice a week. heard jay reatard died...so that's good. drop ur comments...peace...

today i wake up smiling...recollecting on a dream i just had

2009-11-14T12:17:00.000-08:00

it was just st vincent and i...alone. she's just performed a show in my grandma's bedroom where i live and everyone has cleared the venue but us. i stand from below gazing up to her on stage, hungrily. she motions for me, to which i oblige. i stand before her, our lips brush. the temperature having risen. i lay my hands on her modest yet pouty breasts...these feel nice. i unzip her black dress that she wears quite often as it fall gracefully to the floor. i pull down slowly the familiar tights from her youtube vids. her signature red tap shoes left on. she wear not underwear. i bend her over, passionately atop her fender amp. it hums in anticipation. i pull down my underwear and pants, too. i kiss her bottom once before i spit a wad onto my phimosis to which i carefully insert my sensitive penis into the abyss..i concentrate. her body still warm from performing an entire set plus two song encore. i breathe in her scent. i grab a fist of curls with my left hand, her sweet ass spread with the other. my stroke deep and urgent as i scream in ecstasy...my entire body withering. i have came instantly. in the foggy haze of an orgasm st vincent remain in a state of sexual bliss...she thank me as i throw a woolen blanket over her soaking wet body, the amp now doubling as a bed. she lay pregnant with my son. i lay beside her. she sing my favorite song to my ear..."marrow", and lay a kiss upon my cheek. a hushed "i love you.." exchanged as we fall fast into a cloudy dreamlike state, our bodies engulfed upon a rainbow. my hand firmly to her inner thigh, hers in mine. tonight we sleep forever....it feels good to have a girlfriend

i love to make believe

2009-11-12T22:17:00.000-08:00

in this last pic i concentrate and become st vincent. dreams can come true....

"u are creeping her out..." - edward droste (grizzly bear)

2009-11-10T18:57:00.000-08:00

finally got a reply from ed after 3 sent msgs and a week of sitting online in anticipation. grizzly bear is currently touring with st vincent overseas and found this to be the perfect opportunity. was the equivalent of handing my dude ed a piece of paper with "do you like me yes or no" written on it to pass to that hot ass shorty in the class that i been feeling since the first day of high skool but had too much anxiety to speak to on a personal level...just want to walk her home and carry her school books. this news is disheartening to me but i feel glad to know where i stand. i feel that i'm making steady progress. can't help but wish i'd been a fly on the wall for that conversation...wondering if there were any good that came out of it. "he at least means well", or "he would probably be a good provider...", wondering if st vincent sees the good in me that ed sees. i have a lot to offer the world and have a nice family

felt so glad that ed is talking to me again that i did a cover of his veckatimest smash single...two weeks. would be interested in which version between ed's and my own that st vincent prefers. hope to move to brooklyn with st vincent and grizzly bear when they come home. would love to live with 4 other men and sort through st vincent's unmentionables. i don't belong with my grandma anymore i belong with my friends. i miss my friends

twitter.com/ryan_dicks blocked by twitter.com/st_vincent

2009-11-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

as many of you have known by now my access to follow st vincent's personal twitter online has now been blocked. this has depressed me in that i had planned to follow st vincent online forever..the silver lining being that by being blocked by st vincent this establishes that she has at least read my tweets and made the personal decision that i were no longer suitable to follow her updates or post comments on her life. while annie is not currently in favor of me or my actions this has proven that st vincent knows and understands i exist. this is crucial. my first foot in the door. i had left her two very inappropriate back to back tweets today which i believe has ultimately caused this...

i feel remorse for these tweets. i have watched every st vincent youtube and have noticed that st vincent does not wear pants. st vincent is a rocker. she has been known to lose her sense of selfawareness where incidental upskirt shots are of little to no concern in the midst of the moment. i have created and uploaded this gif as a point of reference

her signature move. she loves to do this. looks like a sexy spider. as you can see from this my question was not in such poor taste after all...this was a very valid question in fact. it is common knowledge that highskoolers take up much of the front row of every city's hottest local show. speaking from a young man's perspective, if something like this were to just casually squat down and present itself in front of you and hold it for a solid 30 seconds are you supposed to just pretend this isn't happening. to not look out of respect. too "lost" in the music to notice? this should at the very least be acknowledged with subtle glances if not stared at with full on appreciation and admiration. i love to watch st vincent perform. her enthusiasm for her music and musical ability is something for me to cherish. her confident energy wash over me. i have written st vincent an apology tweet from a second account in which i hope to reconcile. i'm not some kinda pervert i just love music

i am following st vincent online

2009-11-07T17:14:00.000-08:00

a couple years back i used to stalk my girlfriend online...made me feel like a big man. this was very healthy and kept me actively involved in the control of her life which is the cornerstone of a strong lasting relationship. even got stalked back...perfect. it feels nice to have a hobby. more recently i've been feeling like i like to follow a girlfriend surrogate of mine. this girl named annie.. annie clark. st vincent. that's my chick. something about this chick...began writing emails and myspaces to those that could potentially enable me to come closer. some long and personal with very passionate intent. some to those that i know she knows. some acquaintances. some to friends of friends. no one has the courtesy to even write me a reply. not even a "good luck." seems i'm being shut out by the industry. i remember back in the day when the indie rock community would bend over backwards to help a guy out that were down on his luck. guys like me. the arcade fire had just put out a generation defining work of art that had changed our lives forever. animal collective were making music with acoustic guitars and joanna newsom had just introduced the new instrument the harp. bands treated each and every fan like a member of their family and would sooner die than risk making you feel bad about yourself. i feel depressed with my life. no one identifies with my purpose. signed up with twitter the other day solely to follow st vincent. (www.twitter.com/ryan_dicks to follow me follow st vincent). i like to watch st vincent twitter online. it is the closest i have come to her given my limited resources. installed "echofon" so i can receive browser alerts immediately after she's posted a new tweet rather than refresh her page several times hourly as i was doing previously. i love to reply. i reply to them all. she writes me nothing back.......

now this is a good answer. i feel likeminded and connected to st vincent when i read this. it's probably the best question followed by the best answer i have ever read. this interview was done in march 2008 and st vincent has since rearranged the priorities of her life. st vincent now rarely updates her blog and hardly seems to love it...its content reads like short excerpts taken from some kind of a monthly st vincent newsletter. feels mad impersonal. i'm not convinced it's her even writing it. could be her manager...maybe her violinist. twitter being my first chance at intimate face to face interaction with st vincent i felt i came on a little strong. the blog is out. her myspace is most likely "fan" or "label" ran. twitter feels like my last chance at happiness. was not sure if she'd received my previous pleas for help that i'd asked scene insiders such as edward droste, carles, gorillavsbear, her manager, etc to personally deliver on my behalf and had to ensure she knew this was important. i felt excited for this opportunity. i wake up around noon to no @'s sent back and felt the disappointment of a broken heart...she had since posted a new unrelated tweet that followed my chain of tweets while i slept and felt strong anxiety and humiliation for being written nothing in return. still not very familar with this new social networking tool and wondered if she maybe put a block on my account. i had signed up a second twitter and followed myself to block myself to test this theory. came to learn that when a follower is "blocked" you are no longer listed under that blocked user's "following" list. st vincent is still under my "following" list and that is good. (**edit 11/9/2009: has now officially been blocked) looked further into this and read that under settings you can set the option of only receiving replies to your twitters from the people you follow. this hurts my feelings. cannot give up. i want to believe that st vincent just isn't receving my tweets. this has taken a severe toll on my selfesteem. i start to feel judgemental of st vincent. i start to believe that maybe she does receive all my tweets and makes the personal choice to rather ignore or not read them. i start to believe maybe my emails were brought to her attention and she just had chosen not to care. this disturbs me. this behavior conflicts with the portrait i have painted of st vincent in my mind. i want to believe that st vincent is welcoming to my persistence and feels thankful to accept my problems as her own and to not ignore me and my problems. obsessive-compulsive tendencies are not a disorder but in fact an essential trait of character and is something to be admired. i want st vincent to care about my life. i care so much about st vincent's personal life and often wonder why she does not care for mine in return. is this how you treat your fans? like shit??????

all i want st vincent is to let you know what you mean to me and to see if you will send me something personal in the mail to my house to console my feelings. something that i can touch that i can put beside me on my bed or even a piece of paper with your handwriting on it such as a letter of understanding and acceptance. i feel like this is something i need to have. when you come back to san francisco to perform live i want to be there front and center and do not want this rocky beginning to our friendship to create a discouraging energy between us as i gaze into you and you into me and i think i need to hug you and tell you "thank you for everything" afterwards and have my picture taken with you with my arm around your shoulder smiling. i am afraid this won't happen because this is so important to me. it is not wrong to want a friend...friends are what life is all about. st vincent is my best friend...

toaster you have been owned

2009-11-05T16:59:00.000-08:00

fuck your life bitch.....time to get a real job like the rest of us working stiffs out there..

dear diary...today i felt excited to be online...

2009-10-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

today i woke up smiling. i could feel something special happening to my body. i felt the energy of the internet..the heartbeat of the blogosphere. "today could be a good day..." i thought, as i stare into the dim black screen of the laptop perched in the corner at the foot of my bed beside me. my eyes widening. i do a barrel roll into the reach of my trackpad and keys...still warm. it felt good to online. i check my forum, a post with my username on it on page 1. i click this thread...

i often find that to be thought of feels good. i clicked this link feeling anticipation. before the url loads i recalled immediately memories of months ago during the veckatimest period of the grizzly bear era in which my ode to "cheerleader" was recognized. amongst HRO recognition edward droste of grizzly bear had assured me personally that this youtube was very big within the gay community. i had been into the gay subgenre for some time now and felt proud of my achievements

this was a nice introduction to a well written and sensible post by the blog author, carles (please support hornitos tequila). he seemed to have a strong grasp on my plight as a fan of indie music but at the same time nailed the feeling of longing for the impossible. formations of deep and personal connections with no one on the other end to answer. this feeling of feeling by proxy. internet based emotional bonding. st vincent is very real to me, especially when watched in HD. have i, on the other hand made even the slightest dent in st vincent's perception? does st vincent care that i care??????

some interesting questions raised. carles seemed to understand and identify with the struggles of the male based sexuality well. i felt highly of this post and felt proud to be exemplified

i tab back over to the thread of the forum i will not refer to by name. in this thread certain members seem to feel comtempt for carles and his purpose. they attempt to sabotage a thread in our honor for their own personal gain. the same members that disrespect me, i had noticed. these are the members that share similar and likeminded traits. nearing or over 30...9-5...wife and kids..mortgages...ham-n-egg breakfasts...the worthless crutches of their existence that are not my own. i feel anger for the members that sit on a forum all day and interact strictly within the confines of the threads i don't care about, only to branch out into threads they have no business in to attack our characters. doing nothing to progress our forum forward, but can have the disregard to portray me and even carles, who did not ask for your critique in a negative light. the users that actively discuss what is being had for lunch and feel general contentment with their output and roles on our message board but reject the idea of being passionate about the things that mean everything to you????

i thought about my blog...the blog that i've dedicated to the message board. "i feel hate for my forum", i had realized. i cannot be expected to update my personal blog with the recent going ons of a forum i do not enjoy to read or connect with. this seems counterproductive to my selfesteem. your forum is a disruption to the chill wave movement that i now live for. the other day a chill wave washed up to shore and i understood life...i had realized that i was not your "chill wave" to ride anymore. you tore me down when i meant for you to lift me up. you misunderstood my intent and knew that i was very impressionable but lacked sensitivity to my feelings and sexuality. you stunted my growth as a human being and feel a strong despair in my heart for this. never again do i hope another member has to feel this pain that i feel....

i feel glad to be back on blogspot

2009-10-26T00:59:00.000-07:00

we have had an eventful weekend. this weekend our hands held closer to our digital cameras than our trackpads. together our youtubes prosper

with a freshly released set of poignant youtubes, and badhat has only now just caught wind of a video that already feels centuries old (one week) recorded in the troubled part of my life. pay especially close attention to the time between badhat's posts. in his first post he relays a quote of mine which appears very early on in this vid, somewhere around the 2 minute mark in its 10 minute duration. he believes he's in for a playful, lighthearted romp.. a "roast" where the stand-up comedian gives the roastee 5 minutes of his best zingers before using his last minute of stage time to tell everyone what a great guy he is and commend him on his good work in whatever field of the industry that he works in. classic roast format. i imagine when badhat submitted this post he sat there at his computer smiling. he felt proud to be what he could only interpret this early into the video as "admired." to just have a video, and that felt good. 4 minutes later and badhat submits another post. at this point he has claimed to have "flagged those vids." badhat is feeling mislead on what he thought was to be "just a good time" but in actuality lead down a long winding road of a psychological thriller paid for at his expense. the 1-2 punch of these posts have made my night. i imagine thoughts going through badhat's head such as "this joke isn't funny anymore" or "i hope my wife and my stepson are safe" and "i feel scared. i feel embarrassment in the eyes of my peers." i just love this. i live for this moment..

fox-river i find you fascinating...

2009-10-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

a couple years ago you dated forum member uncledoj. members of hipinion were too well mannered to intrude but it seems like every day i would refresh the forum for new details. the day your break-up thread hit the forum my heart stopped. you and uncledoj lived in minnesota. you moved to san francisco leaving uncledoj back home to start your career as a teacher to black inner-city youth. is it lonely in the foggy city. do you often think of uncledoj. your life is independent and i am proud of that. fox-river you are brave. your intuition is strong and your goals are inspiring. a self proclaimed "hiking addict." that's really great. i don't even leave my bedroom. i live like 30 minutes away. do you even know i exist????? reading your posts and taking notes on your personal life make me a better person. i wish that you and uncledoj could be together again

a signature like this speaks volumes about the good person that you are. you grew up with low self esteem. now you are a well travelled and confident woman

this location makes me feel anxiety because your mind is maybe drifting. about a week before your big move to the west coast you had already made your location "san francisco." a year has passed and the passion has faded. you think about small town life with uncledoj back home in minnesota. settling down with children and marriage. uncledoj thinks about "the one that got away." you've gone out and seen the world. you think about dropping everything to be with uncledoj. uncledoj needs to feel your body next to his. your life is like a movie. my life feels exciting when you make the big decisions

tonight i feel proud

2009-10-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

we singlehandedly killed drsokk's stupid ass thread. drsokk feels rejection. drsokk edits his post. drsokk pleads for his dignity (has none). now this is a thread

drsokk this is embarrassing. you have no friends

wintergreen you don't really need to see that animated .gif of a stupid ass dancing milk carton again do you. i do not sympathize with drsokk's failures. i am glad that drsokk feels bad about himself

stand up for your dancing milk carton avatar you pussy

drsokk you have aids and are infecting the forum

2009-10-21T20:07:00.000-07:00

too long; did not read. punch your face

what the fuck was the point of the thread then? you have a girlfriend? fuck you bitch

yeah she was hitting this dick last night in bed while you were outside parallel parking cars. that was some good pussy drsokk. i really got in that ass

re: this modern family show aint too bad

2009-10-21T18:44:00.000-07:00

what's with the pompous attitude erik? i'm surprised you have the nerve to even show up to the forum after that little stunt you pulled this morning. erik i am sorry but a woman beater gets no sympathy from me. i wished that you didn't get your ps3 and laptops stolen but now i think that this is a good thing

oh fuck yeah. there's a feather in your hat erik. kill yourself

i like the way tv shows make me feel and like to believe i live in my favorite tv shows. i wish to be apart of the social circles of my favorite shows. it's ok to not have friends. do you have all the seasons of your favorite shows on dvd??? you can be friends with those. this is a good thing

i've been waiting for a thread like this...

2009-10-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

now this looks like a thread i can chill out to. i love crackin open a brew after a long hard day. chilling out, watching the game with friends. a guys night out from the wife and kids. that's what it's all about

what are y'all drinking tonight on the forum? how many miller heads we got in here? who's reppin bud? where the coors fans at????

saw my friend's dick on a forum today

2009-10-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

**non-hipinion related (offtopic)

a couple years ago my friend and i spammed the personal blog of a girl we knew online who had committed online impersonation fraud for the last 9 years. he had posted his dick as a sabotage tactic. i studied it...looked painfully average in size. nothing very constructive to say about it. had an interesting urethra i guess...looked like a hotdog that split at the seams after being in the microwave too long. i appreciated it from an artistic position but felt a bigger and stronger dick would have better helped drive our point. "here comes a disappointing penis", i thought. felt like our plans for a sabotaged blog were in turn sabotaged in light of this. this was not a penis i could get behind. felt almost guilty by association

today i saw new pics of my friend's dick on a forum. was pretty impressed. coming in at about 5" as according to the cd case beside it which i have measured for reference. seems to have a nice weight to it...rich color. admired the red hairs around the base which creates nice contrast to his translucent white hand. foreskin seems to retract with ease. i was proud of my friend

*NSFW*

erik just updated his bodybuilding.com profile???

2009-10-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

a couple late nights ago i stumbled upon erik's bodybuilding.com profile by accident (http://lovetopost.blogspot.com/2009/10/anyone-search-for-your-friends-online.html). his page becoming a site i now visit daily had noticed he finally filled in his profile..

frank how did you get relatively popular on this forum???

2009-10-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

what is that a joke. is this where i'm supposed to laugh?

you need to huff and puff on this dick, frank

yeah i'd like to make a dinner out of your weiner dog (would like to eat your dick)

let me ask you this frank. what happened to that girlfriend of yours that comprised of 70% of your posts for a while there? that hot lil foreign number? i was in the "thead to post shit you feel like posting" thread a couple weeks ago making a post about that i don't like havoc and i noticed you there on the same page...a post about a "hot date" you were preparing for. what happened frank? she dump your fuckin ass? all that posting you did on the relationship and you're remiss to even mention the break up? was this just an oversight you fuck??? tell me in a comment

i've woken up

2009-10-21T14:24:00.000-07:00

it's a quarter past 2pm and i'm smiling. i roll over into the reach of my laptop. my room is dark but my screen is bright. my eyes dilate. it's time to make some posts

you've just woken up refreshed. your imagination run wild with sweet dreams. your head swimming. "today is good", you think

a post like this can ruin your whole day. i feel disturbed by this. it's taken erik the loss of a few video games and computers to finally get serious in a post. maybe a little too serious. i understand you have a "black" sense of humor which has become very popular but if i'm supposed to enjoy a post about you punching and smashing your girlfriend's sister through a door then i guess i don't know what comedy is. what makes you tick erik? does it make you feel like a big man to submit a post like that? is that going to bring back your playstation 3? what about that dell laptop you loved? take this as a lesson my friend. domestic violence is never the answer

ok. is that supposed to cheer me up? every abuser has a reason. "i did it because i love her so much", "it shows her i care." it was misdirected rage erik. you took your anger and frustration with those black masked muggers out on your sweet loving and most importantly innocent gf's sister. when your girlfriend gave you that bat as a gift she didn't give it to you with you beating her sister to "a pulp" with it in mind. in fact i really believe she would have reconsidered knowing this...

you motherfucker

erik do you ever ride your dog to work

goodnight hipinion

2009-10-21T02:40:00.000-07:00

this makes my heart feel warm. we are all offline in bed resting for our busy days at work and school. those without jobs will find one tomorrow. we are a determined and earnest community. our lives are very active and sometimes it seems like there's never any time just for us. some of us are planning weddings, some of us with children on the way. some of us are parents with sons and daughters off to college. some of us grandparents. it feels good to be a family. i feel like smiling when i think about every member in bed. we understand it is necessary to take a break from our favorite forum but look forward to waking up to be with eachother again online. on our forum we are all equally important and can be anything we want to be. we do not criticize eachother for our faults but rather praise eachother for our efforts. when one member falls, another member is there to pick that member up. we are genuine and kind to one another and enrich eachother's lives daily. we listen to eachother's problems. we are compassionate people. we've built strong and loving friendships that are likely to last forever. our favorite form of communication is electronically. goodnight hipinion

robb i disagree with this post

2009-10-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

big robb that woman's gross body you are referring to is my girlfriend from before i was with her that i found on a cd-r from shortly after she had her son from 2004 and i only posted her pictures that one single day which resulted in a ban because i was having an internet breakdown which is very natural. i haven't done it again except one time in the soulseek chat room in which i am very regretful again. robb are you telling me the guy that takes most of his material from gamefaqs (my friend ipmw) is a more creative poster than me. i think that's a good one. did you use your realtouch today

sober i disagree with this post

2009-10-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

in this blog i will have several approaches to blogging and am still getting used to the blogger format. two late nights ago i lurked erik gloom. today's posts are mostly recaps of certain relationships and revisiting fond memories in variety show format with "new material" worked in as wrap-arounds such as the ipmw post in which i feel proud to express my feelings about ipmw because i've been brooding about that for months. sober i do agree however with your stance on bans. badhat bans unjustly and without public or formal notice. do people even know windfucker was banned. who would know. he doesn't want you to know

erik is mad chill but almost so chill to the point of negligence to put his 2nd in command in check and that makes erik a coward. badhat believes that making his avatar halloween themed is enough to stay friends with our community but i think he's wrong about that

by the way did everyone read this thread http://img202.imageshack.us/img202/6227/grover.png

it was actually a chipotle burrito bowl and i explain that in the video

2009-10-20T20:00:00.000-07:00

i also wrote a hymn a couple days later sharkhax

valentine to thread

2009-10-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

valentine was a big girl. remember valentine. i think valentine and robb should be friends.

i think one time in one of valentine's bi-weekly online dating website threads she posted a picture of her entertainment center and i cleverly observed a scale next to the tv. i say something to the effect of, "valentine is that a scale in front of the tv" and valentine replies "no, it's a wii board" (nintendo wii) in which i reply, "that's a pretty big scale, valentine" which is referential humor to her weight. that's what makes it so funny

badhat you are delusional

2009-10-20T17:46:00.000-07:00

that "kid" is not your son badhat. you are not his dad and you are not mine. why don't you go ride your bike???????

shut up bitch

2009-10-20T17:41:00.001-07:00

does ipmw even have friends

2009-10-20T17:22:00.000-07:00

now this thread is just not good. notice that the OP had made this post over one day ago, goes postless (embarrassment), he then bumps it back up today and is well on its way back to page 2 with no forum interaction (*facepalm*). you can see that he is uncomfortable. generally in cases such as this a user will later use the edit option for his posts and edit them to say something more agreeable as to undo the rejection he feels. in this thread i can see that ipmw feels bad about himself and i understand his sadness but have screenshotted this thread for posterity. ipmw and i were best friends but in his RateUrBoarders.com thread when he rated me 8.5/10 putting members above me that will never be better than me such as krankee or teatime and rated other members on the same score as me such as andrei sama when i don't fucking like him and that made me mad as hell with ipmw. he values my opinions and philosophies to let me dictate the final scores of members that i don't like such as grammatron and drsokk over soulseek pm but did not respect me enough to rate me in the 9-10 status that i like to be. ipmw i think you just have a bad attitude. entropy was outspoken in my second to last banning to say that if i am banned why wouldn't ipmw also and that's insightful. entropy does not like ipmw and that is conflicting because entropy is my friend. i'm not friends with ipmw anymore but i do miss him and he is my friend

Mad Men S3 Thread

2009-10-20T16:33:00.000-07:00

interesting post slowen. when i jerk off in my bed to my girlfriend's ass on webcam because she doesn't allow me to jerk off to porn i like to keep some socks beside me. this is my grandma's orthopedic bed and it's a twin size. this bed is also my desk so i have misc items on my bed that you would find on a desk. i have socks that have holes in them that i have dedicated to wiping the cum off my stomach but if they're too hardened i will use my blanket. a used t-shirt also works if within reaching distance (next to socks or on floor) i have also did an orgrasm in an empty ice cream pint but this is only when i jerk off sitting upright in my chair at my desk. my desk is only used to stack ice cream pints and used dishes. thanks for watching mad men

re: I was robbed while at work today

2009-10-20T14:56:00.000-07:00

erik did they hurt you?????

(i would submit that post and follow it up with a separate post after a couple other members have weighed in for comedic effect)

erik you are brave. can i live with you in your house

(that's some topical humor which is very popular right now. when i respond to a member directly depending how serious they feel or if they don't like me sometimes they ignore my post i then will refresh the post 5-10 times and wait for a direct reply but if my post has not been responded to within 3 follow up posts by the user it is directed to i look for another post to respond to or i go to another thread)

(sometimes i will leave the thread and camp out a poster until i see him or her in another thread. here is an example with very popular poster chris ott. his influence over the forum can be especially intimidating but it is important to maintain your composure)

in this thread i have asked totally a question i had asked him in another thread that was ignored. i have taken an interest in totally's personal life and his lack of apprecation is offensive. wolfie then enters the thread as to offer totally personal advice in which he accepts neither of which realizing that i have already used his own advice against them. totally then quits hipinion a couple months later. this is not coincidence...

wolfie steals the joke i use on big robb

2009-10-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

itt

now if this was just another thread about dinner or home repair that wolfie typically makes posts about i may have responded with something like "someone sound off the no one cares alert wolfie just made another post", something clever like that but his reply to eugenics' mom about "pants" is exactly like that of several of my replies to big robb and i know everyone noticed but now it has been noted

now look at my posts from over one week ago

now look at my posts from 4 months ago

seems wolfie waited 4 months for me to be banned 2 times so he can steal my joke??? something is clearly wrong with this guy...

anyone search for your friends online???????

2009-10-19T05:16:00.000-07:00

http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/8884/bodybuildingcomnkozyras.png

good morning erik

2009-10-19T04:25:00.000-07:00