this morning i lay freshly woken off grandma's couch..my eyes glazed..my head swimming. i log online to compile a post. fell gracefully asleep last night just fresh on my come down from an internet high. late january i get a message from a young girl via facebook while still in canada asking when i'd be doing videos again. i'd been on an online hiatus for about 2 months due to being on restriction at my gf's..told her i was going home in a week to pick up where i left off..thanked her for the support. came home..dropped my first post back..w/ a 3 part monologue. i get another message from her shortly thereafter..."sorry to bug you again", the title read. she says she wants to thank me again for "making her and her friends lol"..i read this and feel good. i do not respond. a couple weeks pass..my youtube account is suspended for reposting the video in which i tug off to a looped vid of st vincent's face saying "i love you" until i cum. i create my new account...
melissa is among one of my first subscribers to my new backup account. note also, that she has only subscribed to me. i faintly recognize the face in the user icon from the face from facebook. i go back to the message from weeks ago to confirm this. upon checking her facebook profile can't help but curiously click on her "relationship status" link..in her boyfriend's facebook profile is a website url by the name of familar but little known hipinion user, "bedroomer"...bedroomer being only known as sexy former hipinion user's ex-boyfriend, ashi. ashi was in fact indirectly responsible for my first hipinion undisputed classic vid..a post written 3 years ago by my friend ipmw with the header "ASHI WE CAN START FUCCIN NOW"...i grab first reply. i respond, "cofuckin signed 8)"..my girlfriend shortly reads this..calls me and screams at me that i delete this post..adding to this that she wants to burn her face as i decline to. i record her reaction while zooming in and out of avatars...thread goes viral. 5 bloody stars...
ashi quietly quits the forum..her and bedroomer apparently break up shortly thereafter..according to melissa's facebook relationship status, their one year anniversery being 11/12/08. i am also learning that this couple lives only a little over an hour drive from where i live, in fremont, at grandma's. my girlfriend having broken up with me shortly after my arrival home as she ultimately does not appreciate my motives to blog/youtube..felt within reason to be somewhat flirtatious, and even playful. after confirming her youtube channel to be her, ashi backstory, and bedroomer relationship i write
in jest, i ask her where she works and that i'd maybe come in to steal something. she says
this feels real to me..she has now given the possibility not only of having me visit her at work for a free meal but the idea of her driving to come see me. melissa seems like a very nice girl and very quickly does this possibility turn into a real life scheduled plan. she decides that she will come drive to me and take me out to dinner as i have told her that it is very hard to have my mom to allow me to borrow her car lately..throughout this her boyfriend, bedroomer knows nothing of this. she tells me that she "loves secretly messaging me" but does feel bad she has to keep it from him. she tells me things about bedroomer..his jealousy..his control..his rage. she insists that bedroomer would see me as a threat and not allow this if he were to find out..i laugh at the idea that i am a threat to any man's chick. told me the kinda shit he put her through cuz she kissed a couple girls at a bar once..doesn't want her hanging out even w/ her female friends. this guy sounds like an insecure nightmare IMO..i start to feel less bad that i am allowing another man's chick to engage w/ me. sounds to me like this man don't deserve a chick like melissa. told me that she's tried to have "a break" with him before but he would not grant it. meanwhile this guy apparently keeps a steady contact with his ex girl...ashi. fukin hypocrite..
our messages get a lil sexually inappropriate..she tells me that she's had a dream about me, and that it was "pretty damn sexy"..or after i excuse myself from the computer to go take a shower, to which she replies..
we begin to discuss where we'll eat..what we'll do. i ask that she decide everything as i feel continually flattered by this girl and feel not worth her time especially at the length of distance between us. tells me of another japanese restaurant opened by a former chef at her restaurant somewhat near me that we could go to, and tries to clear my doubts of inadequacy by telling me i'm doing HER a favor by going out with her because her boyfriend doesn't like seafood and she'll never end up going otherwise. at this point i notice facebook's picture icon above the message box which prompts the webcam on. i impulsively decide that i will write that i like seafood on a notepad and send her this pic..
she says to me,
also previously, before i had to excuse myself to play video games, signing my message "*hugs n kisses* ~ryan", said
which i just thought was nice and wanted to include this..we schedule our meetup for next week..we continue to make smalltalk. she tells me that bedroomer said to her nights ago.."tell me a secret" to which she replies that her and i are secretly friends..he retorts, "you wish"...ha ha. ok. let's fast forward..
damn..c*ckblocked????? i tell her to sort her shit out w/ her man..she tells me that even if he attempts to keep her from talking to me she can do whatever she wants but will have to reschedule our dinner date as he is making her hang out with him the night of. later that night..bedroomer speaks, angerly...
this is my first ever interaction w/ bedroomer. i don't believe we've ever even directly responded to one another in a thread. his lack of picture/name attached indicates that he has blocked me after my last reply
look at this lil guy..lil fuccin frodo baggins over here. i peeped a couple pics of the happy couple together..melissa is tiny..bedroomer stands only a solid inch taller. my dude needs to be less concerned w/ his girl and more concerned w/ finding the rings..lord of the rings, because that's what you look like. his initial threat was obviously not moving to me..i have never been in a fight but in the couple psychotic episodes i've had am confident that i would fucking kill him in blind anger if he hurt me because i don't like to feel physical pain or be degraded. i'd obvs hulk out on this dude no question..would love to just grab him by the top of his head and hold him up a foot off the ground so he could get on my level..grab him by his bird chest one handed and 1080 spin him above my head into a piece of their furniture. as you have read i did not appreciate the overt passiveaggressive tone carried throughout our correspondence. he seems to feel like the bigger man because he believes he has the right to ownership of another human being..
peeping out his myspace i couldn't help but feel tickled by this delicious irony...a picture at least 1 year old..
foreshadowing 101...there is pain in this pic..i feel sorrow in this caption..
melissa i realize this will not get us any closer to that meetup but i don't need this dude's drama in my life..melissa when you read this i feel sorry for exploiting your good intent in this post and would have kept this to myself had bedroomer not approached me in this fashion. your surname has been smudged for the protection of your privacy in which i value. you are a nice girl and you deserve better than either bedroomer or myself can provide you..i hope that one day we can still meet up for that meal and conversation..thank you for making me feel good and sorry that your boyfriend is a loser. bedroomer i no longer have anything to say to you..i no longer want you as a subscriber and please delete my blog and youtube channel from your favorites..out....
Like 1 year later edit;;; Like 2 weeks later she did in fact drive an hour from Stockton to pick me up at grandma's house and pay for a room at the Days Inn where we would have sex and drink shitty flavored vodka. I chose not to photograph or video us out of fear of her feeling exploited. I took a video of her sitting at a park bench and a video of me walking from our room back to her car the morning after, unreleased. Thank you

60 comments:
10.0
FUCK KENNY
POTY. this post will probably get slept on but i cofuckin sign the 10.0
someone give this boy an account.
"and kenneth let me tell you right now I feel like ur on some bitch shit"
lol
whole post is money.
hey kenny, ur girl is jackin off in the shower to other dudes and making plans with niggas right in front of ur stupid face. its over son.
Three-way with Mel and Bebe. I 'need' to give Bebe the 'bowling grip.' [index finger and middle finger in the pussy; thumb in the anus].
yea..you seen this tweet by bebe personally from a few hrs ago..peep this http://gyazo.com/68ec000b05da3763680f2f89f9f506da.png
Hipinion's showing you mad love, Jerkstore.
Don't let the loud minority keep you down.
Motherfucc a faghat.
Trill talk.
Yo, DP that shit, Ryan. She wants you, bro.
Kenneth Loggins up there says ur on the highway to the danger zone
watch it, 'store.
EDIT: my word verification is 'vagic'. which is like vag and magic together, which is what this blog post kinda is. coincidence? i dunno, maybe?
from one slightly autistic shut in with a small dicc to another....i really appreciate what ur doin here....thx
UHOH DUDE LOL
Dear Ryan, I hate myself.
Badhat.
Best New Post!
Ryan, for some reason I find this to be one of your most entertaining posts. I'm very excited to see if this narrative blooms.
JohnK wants ur dicc.
"I'll give you bedroomer, he's a hobbit. But jerkstore, neuroses aside, is an attractive man."
That nicca is beautiful I'd let him blow me.
(no homo)
jerkstore i am a fan of your work keep it up
"dude needs to find the rings...lord of the rings"
fucc.yea.
lol
Melissa is an idiot slut bag and frodo is a faggot
Ryan, you gotta follow through. It is your destiny. All hands in, go bro!
RYAN IS A LIAR. HE FABRICATED EVERYTHING AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PRAY TO ST VINCENT YOU ARE STILL GOING TO HELL.
Jerkstore has a glass jaw. Fuck him up, Kenny.
jerkstore has no idea how bad kenny can fuck him up. not only that, but all his friends want to beat his ass.
Bedroomer everyone knows you made the last two posts you fucking fey gay ass faggot motherfucking bitch ass homo.
God I want to punch you until your head explodes you piece of shit asshole faggot.
Jerkstore if you don't kill this nicca I swear I will.
yea 8:21 anonymous rep that
ryan deserves a sweet gf
kenny greasy ass hobbit
fucc yeah 8:21
pretty sure he actually made the 1 b4 that 2
went for the hat trick
bitch ass fuckin bilbo baggins get the shit out of here b4 ryan makes u wish you woulda thrown urself into morador
real talk, Kenneth Kenny, bedroomer, I feel for you man. But no matter how much you try to control it your so called gf is gonna find a way to do what she wants. Give her the "break" and give yourself one by sparing yourself from that bullshit man its not worth it. I mean i dont understand your taste in clothes but I understand how you feel and its not worth it. If she wants to stray then let the bitch stray. pace out!
i mean, is it really worth it? Thinking "oh whats she doing while im sleeping? Oh is she texting him from her lunch break? there are a million ways around your control tactics Kenneth but i hope these last few days you have realized this.
Unless of course you guys do this kind of shit to each other on a regular basis which basically means you're both fucking just two fucking poorly dressed idiots.
good day.
Schlab Nabs!!
Kenneth do you like knowing that your "gf" secretly thinks about other guys so much that she dreams about them and then goes looking for them on facebook to tell them these things all while you're at school or work or sleeping?!
The reason i ask is because...well, you're not letting her break up with you right? so obviously you like this kind of shit no?
Kenneth why can't you accept that shes her own woman? are you not your own man? Do you think Jerkstore wants to come sleep in your bed because he's tired of living with his grandma? Do you think your "gf" wants to sleep with jerkstore because she's tired of living with you?
:(
Whats the frequency Kenneth?
Hey Dickstore when will you be entering my dangerous zone? :P
Hey Ryan I have a hot post coming through for you.
Hey Kenneth your tramp girlfriend is still messaging jerkstore on facebook reliable source here. Shes feeling hurt and embarrassed and doesnt think he should have exposed her as a tramp
jerkstore, you win when you get a pic of you and her eating sushi
wolfie is a bitch
More like Nazipinion.
Hey Mel how does it feel to have your personal life and intimate stuff exposed for a bunch of internet bros to make jokes about? Its pretty funny when its about his ex, st vincent, ect. how funny is it now? Idiot.
What a fucking creepy ass picture man. That girl looks like she just got punched in the nose LOL
Ryan, please have sex with Mel.
Thank you.
Ryan, I just talked to Mel. She said the sex was great.
Good Job!
hope you fucked her good bro
Ryan, this is Mel.
I still can't walk.
It was worth it.
Thanks
xoxo
;)~~~~C=======8
HEY DICKS
what up son? are you dead? are you homeless?
did gramma ground you from the internet?
did jen make a surprise visit and kick the shit outta u in front of gramma?
did bedroomer and his crew of hobbits catch u slippin and jump ur ass?
did u get arrested?
i'm worried bro. check in soon.
Seen that AY BEBE video like 20 times.
(no homo)
Better say nothing than nothing to the purpose. ........................................
Ryan's got crusty dangle berries in his bum hole... and sprinkles them all over his chipotle for that extra texture and yum yum factor.
Dear Ryan,
Badhat Badhat Badhat Badhat bad Badhat Badhat Badhat Badhat Badhat Badhat Badhat bad Badhat Badhat Badhat Badhat Badhat.
Love,
Badhat
Update, bro! I need some trill shit!
Come back to Hipinion! Place sucks without you. Fuck Wolfie, Eric, and Badhat. Bithches!
Badhat, Eat a Dick!
Ryan, please stalk Badhat. Would be epic. Now go do work!
Ryan please suck my big hot juicy tender banana!!! You know you love my banana juice. Remember the last time when we rubbed our bananas together and made an amazing banana milkshake??
Badhat don't post here you're not wanted.
In fact, you're not wanted at hipinion either. Freakin loser.
Hey, badhat.
It's me.
Badhat wants your peen so bad, Ryan.
Call it tough love.
He's treatin ya mean ta keep ya keeeen!!
And you keep weasling your weasley way back into hipinion many a time. Like a sperm fighting to get it's way into the egg.
It's basic biology really.
Ryan = the sperm. Hipinion= Semen. Badhat= the egg.
You two are gonna have some sweet sweet loving. All that teasing must have both your hormones going crazy.
Bet your touching your peen whilst thinking of badhat right now. You are aren't you?
Oh badhat! Oh Ryan! Come in my earrrr cause I'm desperately so queer!
get back online mr. dicks!
WHERE ARE YOU?!?!
i'm not even friends with kenny and i think you're a fag. disrespect knowing your flame has a boyfriend and you go along with it for a "free meal"??. you're either a complete scumbag who can't get laid, or extremely poor and trashy. so either way, you suck. you'll never have a long term relationship and understand what it feels like to find this shit in someones inbox if you're defending your actions. to feel no guilt and go as far as posting this dude's pictures and shit on your blogs...what kind of life do you have? try getting one and not fucking with other people's lives.
Yeah, the guy/girl that jus posted really sucks.
Ryan where are you? Come back. The world needs you!
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